她是女生，她懷孕，她是媽媽，她吸毒。當女性藥癮者面對傳統社會性別角色壓力時，她們如何自我認同與調適？當進入美沙冬替代療法後，在生活層面上實踐性別角色，她們遇到的難題與衝擊，以及對於婚姻、懷孕、養育的想法為何？本研究主要目的在於瞭解女性藥癮者對於參與美沙冬替代療法的經驗與想法，經由自身所處的社會脈絡位置，說出她們的聲音與需求。本研究方法是以敘事來進行，共訪談三位女性：婉婷、曉君與麗玲的生命故事。經由她們敘說的生命歷程，來探究她們身為女兒、妻子、媳婦、與媽媽的生命樣貌與生活經驗，以及關係中的自我。研究結論如下：美沙冬替代療法能讓女性藥癮者回歸主流價值，移動的可能性增加，但她們面臨是否告知家人，選擇說謊言來掩飾喝藥事實。再者，小孩誰來照顧？為了兼顧母職角色，只能將幼兒帶至診所。女性在性別混合支持團體感到困窘感受、喝藥遇到性騷擾的經驗、面對社會烙印的問題。她們內在充滿對性別角色內涵的衝突與矛盾，喝藥使她們認為自己不會扮演好一個好女兒、好媳婦、好媽媽、好太太的榜樣。她們歷經恐懼的情緒，擔心生下畸形兒的懷孕生命歷程。與伴侶交纏用藥，交錯婚暴的經驗，伴侶關係動力變得複雜。女性藥癮者的社會支持敘說可以發現，家人很少幫助她們、她們對孩子非常在乎。女性藥癮者與他人連結關係是以重要他人需求而主，犧牲是事實但是心甘情願。本研究建議美沙冬替代療法政策上應加入性別觀點，關注女性藥癮者性別角色需求，以女性與小孩的服務做考量，開放單純女性喝藥時段與單純女性支持團體、最後，因女性藥癮者大多數正逢生育年齡，關懷母職角色與懷孕風險問題。

She is female. She conceives and reproduces. She is a mother. She is also a heroin user. When female heroin users face the pressure of traditional gender role, how can they adjust their lives and self-identity? After receiving the methadone maintenance treatment (MMT), what were the plights and problems they faced in terms of realizing gender role on the daily basis? The purpose of this was to explore the voices and needs of these female heroin users receiving MMT by way of their social status. The study adopts a narrative method to interview the stories of three subjects: Wan-Ting, Hsiao-Jun, Li-Ling, exploring their image of life, life history and self-in-relation as daughters, wives and mothers via their course of life.
And the outcomes of this study are as follows: The MMT enables the female heroin users to return mainstream value, endowing them with mobility. But they face the dilemma of whether to tell the truth to their family or lie about receiving MMT. Moreover, who would take care of the children? In order to fulfill the motherhood, the female heroin users have no alternatives but to take the infants to the clinic. The problems they face are those of feeling the embarrassment in the mixed gender support group, of having sexual harassment when receiving MMT, and of confronting the social stigma. The inner selves of female heroin users are full of conflicts and contradictions. Receiving MMT makes them feel unable to set up a good example as a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a mother or a wife. The fear of giving birth to a deformed infant terrifies the female heroin users. Drug abuse of both spouses and domestic violence complicate the partner dynamic relation. Through the social support of female heroin users, the family members are unable to help them out. However, the female heroin users care their children very much. The connection between female heroin users and others lies in important other’s need. The female heroin users are destined to make sacrifice but they are willing to take it. This study suggests that the policy add gender point of view to MMT, focus on female heroin users’ gender role needs, open women-only timetable for MMT, set up women-only support groups and eventually care motherhood and risk of pregnancy of these female heroin users since most of them are at their productive ages.

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